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Joke of the Day

"How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t ""That's not how the dictionary spells it"" ""You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"""

"Did you hear about the birds who wanted to go out drinking? They ended up at the crowbar."

"What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog? Gin and sonic."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."

"I would like to meet the man who invited beer. And buy that guy a beer. Edit: invented."

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish"

"My fairy godmother asked me if i wanted a long memory or a long penis... I don't remember what I said... ...but I have back problems now."

"If I was a waiter & asked if the customer was done eating & they said no, I would say 'fat fuck'. Then draw a hippopotamus on their check."

"Exit signs. They are on their way out."

"WHAT DO WE WANT!? A forum for passive aggressive behavior! WHEN do we want it? NOW would be great but you seem busy sooo whatever."