12478

Joke of the Day

"1) ""Obamas spying on you.""2) ""Eh. Cost of being free!""1) ""Obama wants to give you healthcare.""2) ""WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"""

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""

"If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"Did you hear about the HVAC technicians who got into an argument? At first it was heated, but they got some fresh air then things cooled off"

"Am sorry boss, I know I said I'd do that report this morning. But the girl next to me on the train was wearing a short skirt, & I forgot I even had a job."

"Grandma: what's oversharing? Me: It's when you talk about your hemorrhoid surgery on FaceBook."

"What Were Franco's Secret Police Called? The Gazpacho"

"A woman walks into a bar... turns out, it was actually a kitchen."

"How do Muslims laugh? Muahahahamed Note: I don't have any prejudices against Islamic people."

"A ""ramification"" sounds a lot more fun than it actually is."