95941
Joke of the Day
"A ""ramification"" sounds a lot more fun than it actually is."
Next Joke
"Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend."
"[religion]What's the difference between Jezus and a picture of Jezus? You only need one nail to hang the picture"
"So I realized I have all these great stories, but far too few end with ""And then I fucked her...."" So anyways I was babysitting my little sister last night...."
"We're sorry Micky Mouse, but your wife being crazy is not reasonable grounds for a divorce! I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"
"I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone."
"Two baby seals walk into a club..."
"Why do white girls like odd numbers? Because they can't even."
"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"
"A general tweet to those who attack me but I miss because they're blocked: I'm totally gutted. Well done. You're fierce! You got me GOOD."