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Joke of the Day

"A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs."

"Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza."

"2 Mexicans escape from prison. ""Jesus, take the wheel!"""

"Keep in mind that ""The Cat in the Hat"" is a lesson to your kids on how to throw a house party when you're gone..."

"Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells."

"What is the difference between a Chicken and a Prostitute? The Chicken says ""Cockadoodaldoo"" The Prostitute says ""Any COCK will do"""

"I wonder what people who type ""u"" instead of ""you"" do with all their free time?"

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night. I was like OMg."

"How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything? Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one? Me : Today's."

"My grandma still doesn't need glasses... My grandma is over 80 years old and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle."