215292

Joke of the Day

"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM."

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The barman says ""sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"[at a bar] ""I'm meeting my friend Dan"" big Dan or Dan who's never has money? [door swings open] HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY THEIR BUDDY DAN A DRINK"

"It's very rude to not refer to the manager at Burger King as ""Your Majesty""."

"Throwing away a good relationship because of problems that can be worked out, is like throwing away a new car because of a flat tire."

"Most of the 1990s was spent staring at a cool light display on an Aiwa stereo."

"Rick Astley's movie collection... You can ask to borrow any movie from Rick Astley except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Single and divorced men in their 40's prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age."

"I used to be an adventurer until I took a knee to the arrow"

"Boss - can you pass a piss test? Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?"