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Joke of the Day

"Putin denies Russian naval exercises in Finnish waters, claims that sonar readings ""were misinterpreted"". Whoops, wrong sub."

"I just woke up and scared the hell out of this mortician."

"The bible is 100% accurate when thrown from close range."

"I could Juggle right now, but I don't have the balls to do it."

"Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!"

"How was I supposed know she was ugly? She had big titties."

"Hitler was argueably the greatest person that ever lived... I mean he did kill Hitler"

"It's okay if ""buoyancy"" makes you happy -- whatever floats your boat."

"difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist spends there time looking up old family and a gynecologist spends time looks up old friends!"

"What did Christian Grey say to Anastasia before they sex for the first time? Don't worry, I'll show you the ropes."