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Joke of the Day

"By all means, get married. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

"Some think the economy is slowly recovering. Others think it's on the verge of collapse. I think about boobs mostly."

"What is the main attraction at a Nazi Theme park? Genoslide."

"My life coach told me I was going to be traded at the end of the year."

"London Joke Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction? Because it was a-peeling on the Eye."

"Curiosity has killed my cat.... At least I think it did. I mistook Schrodinger's box for my cat carrier when I threw the squeaky-catnip-mouse toy in..."

"No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up."

"""Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me."" [whole room] ""AFTER ME"" ""Ok fellas, lets start here"""

"Who isn't white or black but shows you no color? A Rod"

"As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious."