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Joke of the Day

"Some think the economy is slowly recovering. Others think it's on the verge of collapse. I think about boobs mostly."

"Screech up to a yard sale. Ask if they have any haunted amulets. Yell at the dog in your backseat, ""I'm GETTING the spell reversed, Greg!"""

"Saturday plans: -get abducted then hunted by a group of rich guys on a game reserve, then systematically take them out one by one. - laundry"

"People that can't support their own arguments piss me off... I don't know why."

"Yesterday I saw an ad that said ""radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down"""

"Its snowing really hard... It is really hard to see anyone in the outside world. I guess you could say I'm Snowden."

"Why does a dog on a U-boat have a deep bark? Because he's a sub woofer."

"What did Jesus say at the last supper? You guys wanna take a picture? Ok come over to this side of the table."

"9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said ""He's thirsty and likes to lick himself."" I couldn't argue with that."

"Why do batteries feel lonely? Because they are never included in anything."