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Joke of the Day

"[at doctor] can u cough for me please? *coughs* again please *coughs* i see i see. i'm afraid you have a cough"

"It's Saturday.. Turning my give-a-crap-o' meter down... "

"What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot? Aye CaRoomba"

"I stopped fighting my inner demons; We're totes BFFs now."

"What happened to the blind circumcisor? He got the sack."

"My dad smeared glue all over his Uzi, and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it. He's sticking to his guns."

"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"

"Ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? Nope. --- That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"What's the best way to cheer on an electrician? You con-du-it!!!"

"After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate."