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Joke of the Day

"My dad smeared glue all over his Uzi, and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it. He's sticking to his guns."

"You inner anus is so big that when you skydive it acts as a parachute."

"When someone says ""surprise me"", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men."

"A man walks up to a woman ""We're going to have sex tonight"" The man said. ""Why?"" replied the woman. ""Because I'm stronger than you"""

"Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet? It's pasteurised before you can see it!"

"Having sex at work is alright As long as you don't work at a daycare"

"What does a mathematician do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"I always put both of my arms inside of my shirt when I'm pulled over because most officers will go easy on drivers who don't have any arms."

"How is evolution and a Union construction job similar? They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work."

"I like my girls like I like my coffee. In a cup."