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Joke of the Day

"I was all cozy up in Mississippi and then all hell broke loose because... Mr. Issippi came home early."

"Hubs: "" Few glasses of wine tonight hun""? Me: "" Yeah, I had a glass of red"" Hubs : "" Just one eh"" Me: "" Well I use the same glass"""

"What's a linguist's favorite beverage? IPA"

"Little Timmy's house cough on fire Timmy wanted to be the hero and grabbed his squirt gun. Do you know what happened to Timmy? He drowned! Moral of the story: Don't be a hero."

"I was on the bus with my gf and this smoking hot Thai chick sat next to me. I thought ""don't get a boner, don't get a boner."" But she did."

"Synonames: two names that fit the same type of person (see: Trish and Pam)"

"[At make-up counter] But does this lipstick come off of a taint?"

"What did the cannibal get when he arrived late for dinner? The cold shoulder!"

"Two black guys go into a convenience store, Pay for their stuff and leave."

"What has five bodies and one soul? A Kia full of Gingers."