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Joke of the Day

"Little Timmy's house cough on fire Timmy wanted to be the hero and grabbed his squirt gun. Do you know what happened to Timmy? He drowned! Moral of the story: Don't be a hero."

"Autocorrect changed ""you're so wise"" to ""you're so wide"", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home."

"What did the black kid get on his SAT's? Barbeque sauce."

"I went to a zoo the other day. The only animal they had was a dog It was a shitzu."

"Relationship or hallucination... Either way, I'm seeing someone"

"Why hasn't Beetle Bailey retired from the Army yet?"

"shout out to the little girl at the zoo earlier who said ""when I grow up I want to be bamboo"""

"Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert."

"Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs? Not Mariah Carey"

"Women's magazines are so funny. 1: You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days."