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Joke of the Day

"If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard."

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."

"I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day... ... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse."

"Dogs lick each other's butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians"

"Where do we keep our thoughts detained? In brain cells!"

"Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I've ever been to hunting my own food."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his friend Gregory Peck."

"I have a pizza joke but it's a little cheesy"

"When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. Now the police call that Identity theft."

"Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you."