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Joke of the Day

"Why do hipsters always burn their mouth when they eat? BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO EAT BEFORE IT WAS COOL!"

"What did the scientist say at the bar? I'd like some H20 please."

"Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller? To find out his phos-fate!"

"Hey baby, are you a C major scale? 'Cause you look all natural to me."

"Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black"

"Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it's lettuce."

"Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're plane wrong."

"What is Kim Jong Un's favourite video game? Duke Nukem."

"What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up."

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."