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Joke of the Day
"Hey baby, are you a C major scale? 'Cause you look all natural to me."
Next Joke
"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."
"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket ... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"How many rappers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two!.......pac. ^(*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)"
"Q: What wobbles as it flies? A: A jelly-copter."
"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""
"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents."
"I just read this article about short term memory I don't remember what it was about"
"Please don't ruin Breaking Bad for me... I'm only at the part where A texts Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily"