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Joke of the Day

"How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb? None. cmon , they'd much rather be kept in the dark."

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"Did you hear the one about Ferguson? It's a riot."

"Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop? She was hit by a bus"

"Guys wait for the perfect girl, Playboy's fault. Girls wait for the perfect guy, Disney's fault."

"Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face..."

"Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare."

"My brother volunteered to perform my sons circumcision But I could never force kin to do that."

"What do you call a modified practice amongst border security workers? A custom custom custom."

"So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention... So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention hoping to pick up some chicks. He went home alone though; the place was a total sausage fest."