112185

Joke of the Day

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"*muttered from inside a bear* ""Go hiking,"" they said."

"3 Mods walk into a bar [deleted]"

"I may have Alzheimer's... ... but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!"

"Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness? He was too super fish oil."

"Never stop seeking knowledge. It is how we grow as a society. But if you do, go ahead and run for office."

"Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights? To help them find missing sea men."

"What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot? Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani"

"What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book."

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"