60188

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop? She was hit by a bus"

"""Daddy, did you know Pluto was recently reclassified as a dwarf planet, or plutoid?"" ""Sweetie, I'm pretty sure he's a dog."""

"America's obesity epidemic is pretty shocking, until you remember that we're the country that invented flavored floss."

"It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous."

"I was talking to a nice young women last night, she asked me if I like breast or legs. I told her what I really like is a nice shaved snatch. Apparently I'm not allowed in KFC anymore."

"If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now."

"Why does the Dalai Lama go to the bookies everyday? Because he likes Tibet."

"I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg"

"What's square-shaped and yellow? A yellow box"

"50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*"