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Joke of the Day

"CLERK: $3.74 ME: *reaches in pocket & pulls out whole ham* sorry I have cash *reaches back in & pulls out 2nd ham* well this is embarrassing"

"Well Bob, I love to travel, and being my own boss is great. But I suppose my favorite thing about being a serial killer is murdering people."

"How come ""you're a peach"" is a complement but ""you're bananas"" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?"

"I hate going to pancake houses because it just reminds me that I bought a stupid, non-delicious house."

"The punchline is ""because he was trying to make ends meat."" You make up the joke. Let's see what you got."

"Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."

"It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them."

"I'm inventing a new holiday where you take back one gift you previously gave someone."

"Why was Steve Jobbs funeral an open casket? So the attendees could get some face-time."

"Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both) What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. ""Alien versus predator"""