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Joke of the Day

"The punchline is ""because he was trying to make ends meat."" You make up the joke. Let's see what you got."

"mom hates dad My mother used to be a ventriliquist.. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father"

"When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF? When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice."

"What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt ? 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'"

"What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud."

"#ReplaceBandNamesWithChicken Chicken (Weezer), Chicken (Rush), Chicken (Journey), Chicken (Kansas), Chicken (Radiohead), Chicken (Hole), Chi"

"Dumb Joke David: Jim, you've got to be the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever met Jim: Really? I think that's a hyperbola"

"Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer."

"When is a Pixie not a Pixie? When its head is up a Fairy's skirt, then it's a goblin."

"""Why did you leave your last job?"" -I had a typo in a tweet. ""Mistakes happen!"" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. ""Thanks for coming in. Bye"""