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Joke of the Day

"What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk? A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant."

"There's two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says You man the guns, I'll drive'"

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you're 14 to come on your face"

"Kids are scared to pour vinegar in their cups because BAKING SODA. BAKING SODA. I GOT BAKING SODA"

"The thing about boats... If we don't bow, everyone gets stern."

"""Now is a good time to think about every mistake you've ever made."" - 3 am"

"I didn't think it was funny when I first wrote this one... I gair aunty this is gonna be five steps removed from swishing nebraskan listerine on a gold claim. ...I was right."

"Ever since I was young I felt like a boy trapped in a woman's body Then I was born."

"What changes the more popular it gets Hillary Clinton's views"

"Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn? Because he's *alright alright alright*."