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Joke of the Day
"""Now is a good time to think about every mistake you've ever made."" - 3 am"
Next Joke
"Why do jewish women like circumcised penises? What jew doesn't like 10% off?"
"Wheat derived protein is totally innocuous and not at all evil... ... Hail seitan!"
"I feel sorry for people who sell magazines. Seems like they got a lot of issues."
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"Have you guys seen the Hitler biopic starring Mike Tyson? I just watched it and I don't think Mike really got his character down. He kept saying he hated juice."
"Man, this one always cracks me up... ...you know, the No. 17 one."
"A club walks into a seal."
"My new boyfriend says the cutest things, like ""Who are you?"" and ""Why are you hiding outside my house?"" and ""My wife is calling the police."""
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"