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Joke of the Day
"Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results."
Next Joke
"I just saw a guy with no legs. I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing."
"Kevin fills a beaker of water and places it on the machine... ""One liter of water."" it read. Kevin gasped and sat back in his chair ""This speaks volumes..."""
"What did Batman say to Robin before they hop on the Batmobile? ""To the Batmobile!"""
"What's 12 inches long and white? Nothing."
"Every ten seconds, someone in London gets stabbed Poor bastard."
"You know what pisses me off? Amber Alerts It's like, life is depressing enough as it is so hearing about someone else getting laid just isn't helpful."
"WIFE: get down here! ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings? ME: *to bird next to me* they're real"
"What do you call a body with no nose? Nobody knows!"
"Coffee is nature's way of saying ""Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!"""