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Joke of the Day

"What did Batman say to Robin before they hop on the Batmobile? ""To the Batmobile!"""

"Hey girl, are you a compressed file? 'cause I wanna unzip you and open you up."

"My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making I suspect his whole story is fabricated."

"What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached? Harmonica Lewinsky."

"In 1466, Dracula started eating 16-year-old virgins. In 2015, he died of starvation."

"OUCH I HAVE A FOOT CRAMP You're dehydrated [Walks on toes] Drink some water [Crawls on knees] Drink water [Lays on floor] Water- [Dies]"

"Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming."

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into."

"I've always had trouble with school, but at least I could always make my friends laugh. I'm 25% funny and 85% bad at math."