204590

Joke of the Day

"You know what pisses me off? Amber Alerts It's like, life is depressing enough as it is so hearing about someone else getting laid just isn't helpful."

"I'm not flirting. I'm just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive. "

"Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine"

"What's an epileptic man's least favorite element? Cesium."

"How do sheep sign their e-mails? Ewes sincerely."

"Plot twist: name your pets after passwords."

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.."

"where do you send a jewish kid with ADD? to a concentration camp."

"Met with a girl on tinder, Turns out her eyes were on her elbows instead of her face. She looked different than I thought she would."

"I'm really good at telling old jokes, and fixing fences... I guess I'm just good at reposting"