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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: get down here! ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings? ME: *to bird next to me* they're real"

"Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves? Maths teachers, they make everybody count."

"[First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?"

"What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone? Miso sorry..."

"At least Stevie wonder was faithful, he never saw any other women during his marriage."

"I'm a screamer Not sexually just life in general"

"I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?"

"The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''"

"You guys know Chumbawamba broke up because you kept spelling it ""Chumbawumba,"" right?"

"MEN AIN'T FROM MARS AND WOMEN AIN'T FROM VENUS. BOTH YALL FROM EARTH AND BOTH OF YALL WACK"