134803

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear isn't actually dead. It's just too afraid to move."

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before social interactions, very helpful."

"Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC."

"No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie. They're all use to Klingons."

"What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that"

"If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016 I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real."

"There are two types of people in this world. Those that need closure."

"What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? Both looking for a tight seal."

"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead edit: woohoo #1"

"Don't cry over spilled milk. And broken eggs. And a violated ham. And-FINE, I'LL LEAVE. This isn't the only grocery store in town, you know."