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Joke of the Day
"I'd like to teach you how to win any argument. Unfortunately my wife won't teach me her technique."
Next Joke
"Trump released medical records from a Gastroenterologist Giving us proof of an ""astonishingly excellent"" asshole."
"I hate it when you're sitting on the bus... ...and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The ones that watch you masturbate."
"My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex for Christmas. I guess they didn't understand what I meant when I said ""I wanna watch""."
"Do Bigfoot hunters and ghost hunters think the other ones are dumb or are they like: ""Game recognize game?"""
"My safe word is ""insufficient funds""."
"There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down."
"Why can't girls count to 70? 'Cause 69's a mouthful!"
"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."
"At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled. It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen."