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Joke of the Day

"How big would jupiter be if it was as close to the earth as the moon..... Pretty damn big (courtesy of my daughter)"

"The liquor store cashier asked me my birth date so I said ""12-25-0000"", and stared into his eyes majestically."

"Where do emos get their gaming gear? Razer."

"Jokes are like women I never get them"

"Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."

"Why do abusive clowns make good comedians? They just hit you funny."

"Beer: The WD40 for conversations."

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"What did the bun say to the hot dog? I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!"

"Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? A: He varnished into thin air!"