123185

Joke of the Day

"What type of fish needs to be tuned? Tune a fish"

"I can tell these $80 Nikes are going to help me get from the couch to the bathroom six times a day a lot faster."

"The wind just blew a napkin off my table and down the street. That one's on you, Earth."

"I was gonna tell a football joke to Payton Manning....... But it went over his head"

"My DNA is all over this room. So nobody go doing anything all life-sentency in here, ok?"

"To all the waiters out there: we don't get impressed when you try to memorize our orders, we just get nervous."

"Before i was born, i was given two choices 1. Have a large penis but suffer from memory loss. 2. Have a tiny penis but be very smart and remember everything. I do not remember which option i took."

"What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics? Gopher gold."

"What's thick, black, and over a foot long? My roommate's asian girlfriend's hair clogging the fucking shower drain."

"Whats the worst part about sex with children? Cleaning the blood out of the clown costume when you are finished."