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Joke of the Day

"Teenager is on the verge of comiting suicide, calls the Suicide Line for help... Cops show up to help. They kill him so he doesn't commit suicide."

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"how does Justin Bieber remove a condom? He farts."
"""Hitting it hard as shit"" and ""tickling the hole"" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today"
"My dad beat me so hard. Our priest asked him for some tips."
"What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours"
"Paddy and Murphy find a mirror. Paddy picks it up, has a look and says to Murphy "" that bloke looks really familiar "". Murphy grabs it off him "" Its me you idiot """
"Q: When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go."
"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan!"
"I have this great joke about the Jonestown massacre but it's difficult to tell The punch line is sooo long. Edit:typo"
"Swear words Faggot shit fuck dick nigger slut ass pussy cunt damn whitey"