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Joke of the Day

"Paddy and Murphy find a mirror. Paddy picks it up, has a look and says to Murphy "" that bloke looks really familiar "". Murphy grabs it off him "" Its me you idiot """

"I asked my dad who the favourite child was. ""Ask your brother,"" he replied. ""Where is he?"" I asked. He said, ""Buried in the garden."""

"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... And he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"People need to learn how to record their name on a voicemail system. ""You have one new voicemail from... *heavy breathing* Toooooooddddd"""

"How do you stop a nigger from raping a girl? Throw him a basketball"

"""What time do I get off?"" has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry."

"Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack."

"How to seduce a fat person? Piece of cake"

"Did you hear what happened in the Multi-Language Translation Race? Nobody made it to the Finnish Line."

"DONALD Your tax returns now! Clinton: We all did our tax returns now show is yours Trump: I emailed it you"