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Joke of the Day

"Paddy and Murphy find a mirror. Paddy picks it up, has a look and says to Murphy "" that bloke looks really familiar "". Murphy grabs it off him "" Its me you idiot """

"Cauliflower is just cabbage rocking an afro."

"Superman's only weakness is the extremely rare Kryptonite that all his enemies have."

"Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire."

"My mom told me to quit smoking weed But I said fuck it I do what I marijuana"

"Whats the best part of living in Switzerland? Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus."

"I exercise religiously. I was on the treadmill earlier praying that it would stop."

"Me: Shut the door, I need privacy 4y/o: But we're family! Me: Families don't watch each other go poop 4:You watch me poop! Me:...take a seat"

"Women are like pianos... if they're not upright, they're grand."

"Went out to dinner with a cannibal last night.. It cost me an arm and a leg"