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Joke of the Day
"Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards."
Next Joke
"[AMA Request] A hipster who admits he/she is a hipster."
"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."
"What do you call a white boxer? Black and blue"
"Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail"
"I decided to burn some calories today.. ...So I lit a fat kid on fire"
"What do you tell a lady with two black eyes? Nothing, You already told her twice."
"I went to a bar with my girlfriend last night and people kept calling me a pedophile, just because I'm 53 and she is 22... ...totally ruined our 10th anniversary."
"Why is my Chinese girlfriend so bitchy? Well it's true, you are what you eat."
"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it and the other is a blonde."