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Joke of the Day

"Why is it that the winner of the Miss Universe contest always comes from earth?"

"What's the difference between committing seppuku and impaling yourself with a sword? They're the same thing but committing seppuku comes with a little twist."

"Snowballs Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs."

"Why are lesbians statistically more poor than the average person? Because they eat out every night."

"(NSFW) what do driving in the fog and eating pussy have in common? One slip of concentration and you're in the shit"

"I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape. I should probably look into getting a new keyboard."

"Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No but he screamed when I bit his finger."

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta"

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila."