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Joke of the Day

"Ghost of Caesar: and what of my legacy? what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains? Me:uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?"

"What do you call a flightless bird? Joaquin Phoenix."

"Florida mom delivers 14-pound baby after surprise pregnancy . Florida?? NO PART of this story surprises me."

"I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit. He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow."

"I love drowning... It just takes my breath away."

"Best pick up line in a gay bar? ""May I push your stool in?"""

"""Can I smash my head against your wall?"" ""Sure, knock yourself out."""

"What do you call a guy with a shovel? Doug"

"""yo Adam, Eve, don't eat from that tree ok?"" ""Why God?"" ""CUZ I INSTALLED THIS SWEET BURGER KING BRO"" ""AW HELL YEAH"" *God & Adam chest bump*"

"How many men from the US swim team does it take to open a door? Just one if its lochte'd"