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Joke of the Day

"how much would it cost? ""the guy who does our estimates isn't here right now"" around what time will he be back? ""did you not just hear me?"""

"Do you have a favorite boat joke? No? Well you will schooner or later."

"At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"""

"Nothing says ""My balls are kept in a jar inside her purse"" quite like a joint Facebook account."

"The chances of Donald Trump being elected."

"My anchor tattoo is so realistic I can't get out of the bathtub."

"Brain: You've got ONE shot at this. Me: Ready. Brain: Go talk to her. ""YOUR HAIR IS THE COLOR OF HONEY CAN I TASTE IT?!?"" Brain: Magical!"

"No one J.D. should have all that power and associates."

"How come it's ok to talk to a stranger's dog on the street but when I ask for the dog's email I'm suddenly a weirdo?"

"What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove."