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Joke of the Day

"What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove."

"""Have they tried turning him off and then on again?"" - Me, suggesting a cure for Stephen Hawking."

"What's ET short for? He's only got little legs"

"The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn't just ""lay in bed and watch TV all day"" I traveled very far thank u"

"I still miss my ex-girlfriend occasionally Sometimes I'll get to my hiding spot outside her bedroom window just minutes after she's left"

"With a name like Progressive, shouldn't the commercials be better by now?"

"Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it's from the newsgroup server."

"I don't bite the hand that feeds me. I lightly suck the thumb."

"What do Jedi say on May 4th? May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar."

"What does the snowman call his wife? Snowblower"