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Joke of the Day

"I already blamed 5 of my problems on Black Lives Matter, 7 on political correctness and 3 on the Ghostbusters reboot. Need more scapegoats."

"What did Barack say to Michelle when he proposed? I don't want to be Obama self."

"Every poop begins with p Read with the Kay jingle in mind."

"Say what you like about pedophiles Atleast they drive slow in school zones. credit to /u/c4rdi4c4rrest"

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture."

"Hi everyone, welcome to Motorboat Club. Let's get started on some sailing basics. *Man in back row throws brochure on ground and storms out*"

"When the aliens land I refuse to be the one who explains why mannequins have no heads/arms/legs but do have noticeably erect nipples."

"Osama was found hiding in mansion in Abbottabad. Talk abbot-a-bad place to try and hide..."

"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmys? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."