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Joke of the Day

"When I'm furious at another driver I roll down my window, thrust my head out & whisper ""wow you drive really inconsiderate"" into the wind"

"confucious says man who worships the pussy.... puts his thrust in god."

"TIL the word ""Muppet"" is a combination of ""marionette"" and ""puppet"". It's like how the word ""mobster"" is a combination of ""man"" and ""lobster""."

"99 Problems If you havin adventure problems I feel bad for you son, I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one. Hit me!"

"i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: ""tell me the meaning of life"". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box"

"A dog limps into a bar... and says"" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Yo mama jokes are dumb, overused, and low quality. Like yo mama."

"Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building? Fall-adelphia!"

"[think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a gentleman for waiting for her to go inside before I drive away. When really I'm just letting out about 6 hours' worth of farts."