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Joke of the Day

"When I'm furious at another driver I roll down my window, thrust my head out & whisper ""wow you drive really inconsiderate"" into the wind"

"An atheist, a cross-fitter and a vegan walk into a bar... We only know because they told everyone within a minute."

"So I tried using one of those date rape drugs the other night... It turns out its really hard to rape a girl when you're drooling on the floor the room is spinning."

"My son just told me he wouldn't kill baby Hitler b/c of what that would do to the space program. Not 100% sure if he's a Nazi or just a nerd"

"""My Friend has got a theory."" ""She reckons that the way to drive a man wild with desire is to nibble on his earlobes for hours on end."" ""I think it's bollocks"" -Jimmy Carr"

"Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts"

"A Priest and a Rabbi... see a little boy bent over. The Priest says to the Rabbi: ""Should we fuck him?"" The Rabbi says to the Priest: ""Out of what?"""

"What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name."

"don't joke about arthritis It's too close to the bone"

"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""