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Joke of the Day

"On the train... A girl sneezes. you: ""bless you."" she: ""sorry, i have a boyfriend."" voice from a few seats behind you: ""i'm a vegan."""

"help me, I am trapped in a haiku factory save me before they"

"RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom"

"Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict."

"Did you hear what the Feds found at Jared Fogle's home? A five year old footlong."

"What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea? We Three Kims"

"""To be is to do"" - Socrates. ""To do is to be"" - Nietzsche. ""Do be do be do"" - Sinatra. ""Beep beep beep"" - R2D2."

"My friend and I went to a guitar clinic recently. He really seemed to be into it. I guess it struck a chord with him."

"What happened to the man that lost his left arm and left leg His political beliefs are in line with the conservative section of the political spectrum"

"Mike Rowe Penis Women have told me I have a Mike Rowe penis. I guess it must be because they think it's pretty strong and does dirty jobs... but I think it's a little small myself."