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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict."

"Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? That's none of your damn business. Is he being detained?"

"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers"

"What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants? Denim, Denim, Denim"

"What do you call a cow...? What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow that's masturbating? Beef Strokin-Off"

"What did Jack Frost say at his climax? ""Winter is coming"""

"Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work. I'm not saying I'm a sex guru, but I know most of the ins and outs"

"What do you get when you cross a pyrotechnician and Mexican food? Explosive Diarrhea"

"I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days. Send help."

"If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?"