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Joke of the Day

"What branch of the military did the hipster join? The Salvation Army."

"PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals ME: no problem [later w/ a group] ME: that's Greg, & that's Linda..."

"When my evening plans are ruined, I pay it forward by texting ""I'm pregnant"" to random numbers."

"Biker mimes If a group of mimes forms a motorcycle gang.... Do they have to drive electric bikes?"

"What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off of dead beatles."

"It'd be cool if a firetruck was like an ice cream truck and just drove around selling fire to kids."

"Why does a chicken coop always have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan."

"Every time I think the younger generation is stupid, I remind myself that we took a long time to figure out that WWF was all fixed !!"

"Cop: How much have you had to drink? Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel"

"On Halloween, how do skeletons call their friends? With their iBone."