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Joke of the Day
"If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx"
Next Joke
"Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker so now we will both be here until we're dead."
"Why are monkeys such great friends? Because they're prime mates!"
"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"
"Instagram is experiencing difficulties. Until further notice, please cease visually chronicling the tedious mundanities of your life."
"What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back."
"Why doesn't Jesus play volleyball? All those spikes hurt his hands"
"A humorous joke to say on January 1st, ""I haven't had sex since LAST year!"" When really it's only been 21 years, 3 months and 18 days."
"I'm thinking about opening one of those ""pray away the gay"" clinics just so I can name it ""God Save the Queen."""
"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."