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Joke of the Day

"The hardest part about being black is never knowing if any of your family members are secretly being played by Tyler Perry."

"[phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit"

"ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure"

"The other day someone said my clothes looked gay... I told them they got out of the closet just this morning."

"Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"People are like onions... I always cry when I cut them up."

"If my next of kin takes a nap.. Can i call him Napkin?"

"So a man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap The psychiatrist looks up at him and says "" I can clearly see your nuts"""

"My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi."

"A Bar joke A Socialist jew, a misandrist woman, a Canadian and a Toupee walk into a Bar. One walks out the President of America."