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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"What did the red dog say to the blue dog? Nothing, dogs can't speak."

"Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me"

"What do crazy girlfriends and chocolate have in common? They both kill your dog"

"Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls."

"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor."

"What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player? A tattoo."

"Some people talk the talk, others walk the walk. And here I am, a mute in a wheelchair."

"Why are white prisoners so scary? Because you know they did it."

"Sarah Palin hasn't said anything idiotic yet this year. I hope she's okay."