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Joke of the Day

"The other day someone said my clothes looked gay... I told them they got out of the closet just this morning."

"Wanna hear a joke? ""Why did the chicken cross the road?"" ""Why?"" ""To get to the house of the ugliest human on the planet. Wanna hear another joke? Knock-knock...."" ""Who's there?"" ""Buc-buc-bucaaaaaw!"""

"What's a mouse's least favorite record ? What's up Pussycat !"

"I long for a slightly simpler time when old people with fifteen types of produce were too intimidated to use the self checkout"

"Broke up with my girlfriend today On the other hand I met this chick."

"What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale"

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 1. It used to be the joke was ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"" Now it's: if ya drug 'er, ya fug 'er."

"My dad put snowballs in the blender I miss snowballs he was a great cat"

"I'm not exactly Jew. I'm just Jewish."