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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) My girlfriend dumped me because I couldn't give her the 12 inches she deserved.. I told that bitch ""I don't cut 2 inches off for anybody!"""

"Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other. ""Honeydew you love me?"" asked the first. ""Yes,"" replied the second, ""but we cantaloupe."""

"These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race."

"Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics Interviewer: Could you give me an example? Me: Yes I could"

"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."

"What did Chewy say after episode VII? I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo solo"

"Why did the T-Rex fail his business project? He couldn't make hands meet."

"Why did the man marry a monkey? Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke"

"I went to Costco the other day... As I was checking out the cashier asked me "" Do you wanna box?"" I said ""No, but I'll wrestle you!"""

"My friend had a testicle removed after finding a lump. He's very serious when it comes to mashed potatoes."