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Joke of the Day

"""Genetically modified food is very much safe for human consumption"" the tomato on my plate reassuringly explained to me."

"I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . ."

"How do you stop a taliban tank ? Shoot the Guy Pushing it"

"I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it"

"Justin Bieber's career died for your sins."

"You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower"

"My friend took a whole bottle of chill pills and chilled himself"

"Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly? Dentis: ""Not always the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist"

"Yo mama's so fat she has titties in the front AND in the back"

"A duck walks up to a prostitute.... And says, ""put it on my bill"""