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Joke of the Day

"My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!"

"What car does Boba Fett drive? A ManDeLorean."

"Two atoms are walking down the street... The first atom says ""hey, you just stole my electron!"" The second atom says ""are you sure?"" The first atom says "" yes, i'm positive."""

"Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth."

"""It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."" But it takes much longer to get to England on a rowboat."

"What if Hitler was cast for 'The Matrix' instead of Keanu Reeves? The movie would have been pretty... Neo-Nazi."

"Michael Brown's family just wants their voices to be heard. They are tired of being shot down."

"A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]"

"Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice."

"Sean Connery is standing at your door, wearing white shorts and a white shirt and holding a racket. What time is it? Tennish."