122777

Joke of the Day

"At the grocery store, my daughter held up two types of fabric softener... ...and she asked, ""Would you rather have dryer sheets, or dryer balls?"""

"It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people."

"[on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup"

"They say they give' medals for valour But mine cost an arm and a leg."

"daniel radcliffe's family were just known as the cliffe's until his great grandfather invented the kick flip"

"I got fired today, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently nursing homes have strict rules about what you can do with patients."

"What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner ? Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner"

"Did you hear about the snarky prisoner who smarted off to the guard on the elevator? He was a condescending con, descending."

"Blow job vs. Mount Everest What does getting a blow job from a 70 year old woman and jumping down from Mount Everest have in common? You don't dare to look down, but you feel the rush."

"A guard is patrolling when he sees something moving in the bushes.... ""Who's in there?!"" He yells He gets a reply ""jean-claude van damme"" All 4 of you,get out!"